Osmonds song from "Pretty Maids All in a Row"
After seeing Pesco's moogarific Osmonds post, I got to thinking about a terrific piece of cinematic sleaze from 1971 called Pretty Maids All in a Row starring Rock Hudson and Angie Dickinson, written by Gene Roddenberry, and directed by Roger Vadim (Brigitte Bardot's svengali, over-the-top bon vivant playboy, and director of Barbarella). The lead song, "Chilly Winds," was performed by the Osmonds, and is probably their best song ever.
I can't beat Bad4Alice's description of the movie, so I'll just cut-n-paste:
The First 5 minutes of "Pretty Maids All in a Row" (1971) - Welcome to the 70's! A Teen boy seduced by a HOT substitute teacher (Angie Dickenson); a Footbal Coach / 'Counselor' (Rock Hudson) giving 'Private Lessons' to the Willing and Sexy Young High School girls - Short Skirts, No Bras, Lots of 'Bounce' and Upskirt Peeks - It makes Certain 'Things' Hard for a young highschool guy, especially the New Substitute in her Short Skirt, Jiggly Butt, and Tight Top, who 'Accidently' pokes his face with her Breasts! He has to get a Hall Pass, and 'Limp' to the Boys' Room, holding a clipboard in front of himself, for a little 'Relief'! He's about to start, when he finds a cute young girl in the next stall, Skirt Up and Panties showing - But she's having a harder day than his - She's DEAD! The movie (NOT the Clip) goes on to more girls murdered, lots of nudity, Telly Savales & James Dohan (Scotty on Star Trek) as the Cops, Roddy McDowall as the Principal. and the Osmonds singing the Theme Song! It's a Sexy Comedy/Murder Mystery -- Far Out, Groovy, and Right On!

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That sounds so messed up, I have to find it now.
The alternate title is
"Frustrated Johnny: Portrait of a young serial killer"
Angie .. she still alive? What a hottie.
""Chilly Winds," was performed by the Osmonds, and is probably their best song ever. "
I dunno, man. I think "I, I, I" kicks some serious hide. Several DJs have put out nice edits of it in recent years, including this one by Todd Terje.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONN4WF4wcYo
A buck says Netflix will suddenly, for no apparent reason, get a lot of requests for this flick.
Too bad Netflix doesn't seem to have this, it seems like a natural entry for a Bad Movie Night! Roddy McDowell and Keenan Wynn, of "Laserblast" fame? Two repeat offenders! Must see.
Was this a Tuesday Night Movie of the Week? It looks like the companion volume to Maybe I'll Come Home in the Spring.
Not to mention Susan Tolsky from Here Come the Brides. Bummer about Netflix. I was just going to snag it.
The kid on the Vespa was the late Johnny Carson's late son. I think he committed suicide or died from an over-dose. The song is totally Hollywood but I guess the Osmonds had their fans.
sorry.
nothing beats "Crazy Horses"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiNnDpIW918
Memories... There was a pictorial tie-in to this movie in Playboy mag, April 1971 - my 1st Playboy ;)
If you can't find it on netflix, I'm sure you can find it somewhere.
Hard to explain the difficulty of avoiding eye contact w/ a director after a bad, bad screening. Saw this with Vadim at an MGM screening room prior to release. Also present: Nelson Lyon (The Telephone Book) I think he was there. I know David Weisman was there 'cause we all worked together on Ciao! Manhattan that year...Uh, Edie too. Long story... David went on to produce Kiss of the Spider Woman and get nominated. David, you see, is a real genius. Hi Rakka! Love ya'!
And featuring James Doohan, aka Scotty from Star Trek. Is this where writer/producer Roddenberry first met him?
This was two years after Star Trek was canceled.
Angle Dickinson?
"Messed up"? How about "potentially the best movie ever"? I gotta see this!
At 3:02, I expected him to have "LOVE YOU" tattooed on his eyelids.
Sounds even worse (in a good way) than "The Teacher" from 1974 with Jay North & Angel Tompkins..
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072260/
"Pretty Maids All in a Row part II" (2011) The substitute teacher and football coach are forced to register as sex offenders and live in a hobo encampment under a bridge.
The score is by Lalo Schiffrin too. Got to see this.
Just from the clip, it seems a lot less obnoxious than any of the American Pie movies. I can certainly identify with the kid who goes through puberty in the 70s and has to hold a notebook in front of his lap at random moments.
Fun fact: in addition to Doohan, another familiar face from Star Trek in this is William Campbell, who played Captain Koloth in "The Trouble With Tribbles" (he would reprise the role nearly thirty years later in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) and also the bratty, nearly-omnipotent Q-prototype Trelane in "The Squire of Gothos." More fun facts: Campbell's ex-wife, Judith Exner, later gained notoriety as a JFK mistress, and Campbell was suspected by some as filling in for Paul McCartney (whom he resembled slightly) after Paul "died".
My vote for best Osmonds song is "Hold Her Tight" (great to put on loud at a party because it sounds so much like Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" at the beginning that it confuses people.)
"Crazy Horses" is a close second though (and from the same LP.)
I see the costume designer was William Ware Theiss, another Star Trek connection.
The "Theiss Titillation Theory", which claims that "the degree to which a costume is considered sexy is directly proportional to how accident-prone it appears to be" is named after him.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Ware_Theiss
Holy Cow, Mark. Thanks for posting this. Interesting on numerous levels. And, ?? I never knew Johnny Carson's son was a film actor, etc.
This looks even better than that Robby Benson movie 'One On One' which he co-wrote with his father and co-stars that woman who played Martha Kent on Smallville. http://www.salon.com/entertainment/feature/2002/11/12/robby
This was based on a far more serious (but no less offensive) thriller by Francis Pollini, who wrote several popular thrillers in the late 60s then seemed to disappear. His books were all kind of trashy (at least the ones I read), but much much better written than other trashmongers of the time (Harold Robbins et al).
While the movie probably reflects the personalities of Vadim and Roddenberry more than Pollini, I think one should at least mention the novelist who created the original story, especially on this blog.
JOHN DAVID CARSON WAS NOT JOHNNY CARSON'S SON. Not sure where that came from. Five seconds on wikipedia or imdb should clear that up.
JOHN DAVID CARSON WAS NOT JOHNNY CARSON'S SON.
Wow, is that what it's like being a teenaged boy? Looks painful. And single-minded.
MrsBug - yes, that pretty much sums it up, better than anything i've ever seen or read.
That's indeed what it's like.
But I always thought the old "hide it behind a textbook/clipboard/PeeChee folder" thing was kinda silly. Who really wants to hide their package when it's at its most prominent? Give 'em something to stare at, sez I. It's fun to see who looks.
Uh... not speaking in favor of flashers, mind... just naturally-occurring protuberances safely encased in everyday clothing.
But now . . . the REST of the story.
This was a TERRIBLE scandal for the Osmond family. They were pretty much manipulated into doing this tune by their producer at the time, Mike Curb, being told it was for a completely different film. The LDS Church had just made it an "unofficial policy" to counsel their membership to avoid R-rated films, which this movie was. So, for the Osmonds, as the "face of the Church" to the world at that time, to participate in a project such as this was horrid. It led to an immediate break with Curb, and they started work on "The Plan", their ambitious "concept album" that musicalized the Mormon "Plan of Salvation", in an attempt to convince their fellow Church members that they were still on the straight and narrow.
By the way, I've never been a die-hard Osmond fan, but "The Plan" actually hangs together really well as a concept, and is worth a listen regardless of your religious persuasion.
I just realized that I've been misremembering, for years. the actor who played the horny young teen. Somehow I'd gotten the idea in my head that the role was played by a young Jan Michael Vincent.
Perhaps I was distracted by my memories of Angie Dickinson's nude scenes. Oh my. Oh my, oh my....
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